Deciding to make a 2023 resolution, or not?

Being resolute means beginning again... and again. And, maybe beginning differently this time. 

We are in a time that encourages commitment to personal betterment, full of support for goal-setting. While there is fertile ground, there is also a healthy dose of cynicism as these efforts tend to fade in importance. But why do we find it so hard to stay motivated and committed? 

The simple and uncomfortable answer is we just don’t want to do [*insert activity committed to] because we haven’t decided to focus on something that is actually important to us. And recommitting when we falter in our dedication is hard to do. Over and over again. It's gotta be good to make you keep at it, right?

And there is the key… How do you know what is important?

Here I think we need to define something: 

‘Important - Of significant value and/or likely to have profound influence on success or well-being.’

There is some popular but lazy reasoning that ‘what we spend our time on preferentially is what we’ve made important’. It’s not the actual behaviors or activities that we need to look at changing, those will change once we figure out the root value we've applied to them. Frighteningly, we spend increasingly more time on things that aren’t vital to our success. We’ve made avoiding discomfort important. 

And yet still we feel uncomfortable, because it’s not as simple as avoiding stuff or following advice. Life is sometimes going to be uncomfortable, no matter what you do. This is where we need to refocus our energies on how we respond to discomfort. Changing perspective on what to do about discomfort can be as simple as defining just a couple more words:

De Cis Ion - the action of resolving a question by choosing one option; cutting off all other insufficient choices until the correct solution is found.

Re Solut Ion - the action of once again loosening something that is bound. - To commit one's Self to an action or behavior for as long as necessary to reach the chosen solution. 

Decide what is Important and Resolve to use your energy towards that success. Simple, right? Sort of...

Our resolutions only work if we choose what will make a significant positive impact to our well-being. Any living organism will rededicate energy, as many times as necessary, to that which benefits its chances of success. This model is expandable from Self to Family to Community and beyond… if what is important to YOU is the success of your family, you will dedicate the necessary resources. It’s just how nature works. 

Apply the laws of nature and choose what is important to you; cut off any peripheral noise that keeps you from that, including what social media has been drilling into society. When you know what doesn’t matter, it makes it easier to focus on what is important for you. 

You can’t choose to do a workout or Yoga class every day, quit sugar or alcohol or change your diet because it’s ‘supposed to be good for [me]’… if you make the important 'thing' a 30-minute run every day and you have trouble keeping that goal, it falls apart... if it's important to spend 30 minutes a day on a heart-healthy activity because you have a family history of heart disease, you can choose dietary, exercise or behavioral changes that will keep you moving towards successful heart health for years to come. Miss a run, ok, can you choose a healthier meal? Can you do some breathing exercises? Your heart health is the goal, so the daily activity can change as long as it gets you one step closer... a MUCH easier resolution to keep and far more likely to get you to your goals. 

If significant positive impact on your life means choosing to change, you will be successful in making the necessary changes, LOTS of them, moving towards a single important success. 

No one other than you can choose what is important, no matter how good a deal someone else makes a jogging app. 

So, what is important to YOU? 

Questions to help:

• What do I want? (to feel, to be, to have, to achieve)
• What things do I need to do to be successful?
  (*as many as you feel fit, more options = greater chance of keeping to the resolution)
• Who can help me and how?
• What is in my control and what is not?
• What is likely to distract me and how do I prepare for that?

And last, but not least:

• Who am I doing this for/Is making a New Year’s Resolution important to ME this year?
• (If it's for someone else and THAT is important to you, then YAY!)

For some, now is the best time to resolve to not make any changes out of pressure to be anything other than we are. You can resolve to choose peace, over and over again. Resolve to stay resolved on your journey of evaluating and evolving every day!

Begin again, and again, as you are, where you are with all you are, 

Love,

Nicole

p.s. - thank you to @dailystoic for the reminders. ❤️